


This week: PARIS!

by wendellgee



Series: Cabin Pressure: The Missing Episodes [2]
Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut (kinda), First Kiss, Fluff, Les bears polar, M/M, Martin has a tattoo, Secret Crush, Sharing a Bed, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2017-12-31 04:39:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1027318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wendellgee/pseuds/wendellgee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This episode takes place in October 2012, post series 3 and a year after "This week: HARTFORD!" </p><p>----</p><p>MJN goes to the city of love and Martin realises that his crush may not be so one sided after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cabin Address

**Author's Note:**

> Sadly, I don't have anything to do with "Cabin Pressure" - just my twisted ideas of what the boys do in their free time.
> 
> I also do not have a beta or a brit-picker... corrections are always appreciated!

"Good morning to our favourite passengers, Arthur 'Cujo' Shappey and Ms. 'Delores Claiborne'. My name is First Officer Douglas Richardson, and I've just come off 'The Night Shift' where I flew over 'The Green Mile' with my co-pilot, 'The Apt Pupil' himself, Captain Martin Crieff. Today, our 'Skeleton Crew' will be flying in the direction of 'The Shining' sun en route to the lovely city of Paris. Whilst in Paris, we will be parking the aeroplane 'Under the Dome' near 'The Dark Tower' of Orly Airport. As it is a daytime flight, we will be landing at four past noon instead of 'Four Past Midnight'. I do hope the unending boredom of a cargo flight doesn't create a sense of 'Desperation' and turn you into a 'Firestarter'."

"What was that? Twelve?"

"I believe so, Sir. Would you like to try?"

Martin took a deep breath, trying to decide if he could out-Douglas Douglas. "For the next month, you'll do the walk arounds?"

Douglas thought about it for a minute. "What do I get?"

"What do you want?"

"Twenty quid."

Martin went quiet for a moment. He couldn't really afford to lose twenty quid. He'd been doing relatively well as a man with a van, but twenty quid was still a lot of money for him. "Fine. You're on. Twenty quid if you win."

Douglas tried to hide his surprise. Martin _never_ bet money, and definitely not as much as twenty quid. Douglas knew how little his Captain made as a man with a van. He really hoped he lost.

Martin closed his eyes, whispered a soft prayer that he would win and then began his cabin address. "A jolly good morning to 'The Man in the Black Suit' and 'Rose Madder'! Today, you are 'Riding the Bullet' to Paris and our only passenger for this 'Home Delivery' trip is a 'Stationary Bike' and not 'The Cat From Hell'. I am your Captain, Martin Crieff, and up here in the pointy end with me is 'The Man Who Loved Flowers', First Officer Douglas Richardson. It has been '1408' minutes since our last flight but I suffer from 'Insomnia'. As a result, my 'Grey Matter' is a little sluggish this morning, but I promise I will not take 'Mrs. Todd's Shortcut' and land us in a 'Pet Semetary'. Enjoy your flight. I hope it gives you 'That Feeling You Can Only Say What it is in French'." A huge smile took over his Martin's face as he put down the intercom. "That's fourteen!"

"Fourteen? I'm impressed, Martin." Douglas purred. "A month full of walk arounds it is, then. Are you sure you don't want the twenty quid as well? That was quite an impressive performance." 

Martin shook his head. "I don't want your money, Douglas. I'm doing OK if that's your subtle way of asking me how business is."

A soft smile tilted up the corners of Douglas' lips. He was caught. The two men had gotten closer since Douglas' divorce, but they didn't often talk about Icarus Removals as it was still a source of embarrassment for the younger man. "You got me, Sir."

#

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, Douglas sneaking peeks at the younger man when he could. Once or twice, he'd notice his Captain doing the same. It had taken Douglas a while to get over his third divorce, but during that same time, he'd started to take more than just a passing interest in Martin. There was one night, a year ago, that was burned into his memory. It was the night Martin had fallen asleep and curled up to him as they watched the aeroplanes at Bradley International Airport. The scent of Martin's shampoo and the feel of those auburn curls as he kissed the top of his head still haunted him. He hoped one day to relieve the experience.

Douglas cleared his throat and Martin thought he looked a little nervous. "There's this little bistro not too far from _La maison d'un millier de cafards et les rats_ that I wanted to try on our next trip here. You know I hate to eat alone. Come with me? Please?"

Martin knew, without asking, that Douglas was going to pay for the meal and that he wouldn't allow Martin to argue with him. He looked at Douglas and saw sadness etched across his face. Douglas knew he was going to say no, just like he had a thousand times before. Arthur had once told Martin that Douglas only looked sad when he thought Martin couldn't see him, but those days were in the past. He chewed on his bottom lip nervously before answering. "OK. I will."

Martin pretended not to notice the way Douglas' face lit up, just like the way he pretended not to notice the way his heart skipped a beat when realised that HE made Douglas that happy.


	2. A Night Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Martin and Douglas go out for dinner, but the night doesn't end the way Douglas had hoped it might.

Martin had to admit that the little bistro was very nice, but then again, he wouldn't expect any less from Douglas. His First Officer had ordered dinner for both of them and a glass of wine for Martin. Martin had tried to pass on the wine, but Douglas had insisted because one of them should sample some of France's finest wine, and it couldn't be him.

Martin tried to stay calm, but he was really nervous. Every thing about this felt like a date. He gulped down the wine and tried to calm his nerves. This was exactly why he never accepted a dinner invitation from Douglas. "Thank you, Douglas. This is... very nice."

"You're welcome, Martin. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. How's dinner?" Douglas could see how uncomfortable his Captain was and he wasn't sure how to get him to relax. The wine certainly wasn't working, although Douglas had to admit that _was_ a bit of a misstep. Martin never drank in front of him. 

"Dinner is delicious. How did you know I'd like coq au vin?"

"You like _boeuf à la Bourguignonne._ It's basically just poultry instead of beef." Douglas shrugged. It was one of the more expensive items on the menu, and one he knew Martin would never sample on his own. "Besides, you need to eat french food while you're in France. It wouldn't be right for you to have a room service burger."

Martin blushed a little bit. Douglas knew him too well. "You don't have to be so nice to me. I can take care of myself."

"I know you can take care of yourself, Martin. This isn't about me taking care of you. This is about you finally letting me treat you to dinner to thank you for being there for me over the past year." He looked down at his plate, composing himself before looking Martin in the eyes. "As luck would have it, this is the one year anniversary of my divorce to Helena becoming final."

Martin felt his jaw drop. "I know." He couldn't look Douglas in the eye and ended up fiddling with the napkin on his lap. Martin had been using the divorce as a dividing line: there was life with Douglas pre-divorce and then there was life with Douglas post-divorce. He knew something had shifted between the two of them during that trip to Hartford a year ago, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Whatever it was, he was thankful. He liked this new Douglas much better.

"I couldn't have survived the past year without you," Douglas said quietly. Martin ducked his head, not sure what to say. "I owe you more than one little dinner at a Paris bistro." He waited for Martin to say something, anything, but the young man didn't look up. 

When Martin finally chose to raise his head, he said softly, "No, you don't."

"You are absolutely maddening." Douglas shook his head, a smile on his lips. 

"I know I am." Martin returned the smile.

#

"Hey, chaps!" Arthur was sitting in the hotel lobby, wearing his footie pyjamas when they returned from dinner. "How was dinner?"

"It was nice. Why are you out here?" Martin smiled at the Steward.

"Mum declared a Code Red and I didn't know where I should go while you and Douglas were out."

"Do you want to come up to our room? You shouldn't sit in the lobby by yourself, in your pyjamas." 

Douglas sighed. Carolyn wanted Arthur out of her room, which meant that the two men were now sharing their small, already overcrowded, room with one more person. He wondered what set Carolyn off this time. 

"Oh, Skip! A sleepover. It'll be brilliant! I love sleepovers!" Douglas was pretty sure that there was little Arthur didn't love, but he had hoped that Arthur would have wanted to return to his room eventually. Grown men generally didn't have sleepovers. Then again, this was Arthur. Arthur probably had loads of sleepovers, even at his age.

Martin headed down the hall towards the lifts, Arthur at his heels like an excited puppy. Douglas paused a moment to collect his thoughts before joining them. He had hoped that he and Martin could talk some more about the divorce, Helena, the one year anniversary, anything that would lead them back to the night in Hartford when Martin curled up to him in his sleep as they watched the planes. Douglas found himself angry that Carolyn had managed to keep he and Martin from talking about that night. He sighed again. Maybe it was best that he keep his distance from the young man. It was highly possible that he'd upset the young man and make things awkward between them. He did have to share a very small space while doing a difficult and demanding job with his Captain, after all. A continually flustered Martin would be disastrous.

Once up in their room, Arthur grabbed the extra pillow and blanket and started to make himself at home on the floor. "Arthur, I'll sleep on the floor. You can have the bed," Martin said. Douglas grumbled as he almost tripped over Arthur on his way to the en suite. Hopefully, Arthur didn't talk in his sleep tonight. They were too far from the airport to sit outside and watch the planes. 

"That's OK, Skip. I like sleeping on the floor." 

"Arthur, we can order you a cot. I'm sure they have one."

"I'm fine. Really."

After a few restless moments, Martin sat up. "Arthur, seriously, I'll take the floor. You shouldn't have to sleep down there."

Arthur was quiet for a bit. "The bed's big enough for both of us. Can we share?"

Martin had never shared a bed before. The closest he had ever gotten to that was when he had fallen asleep on Douglas that one night. "Ummm... OK. Come on."

"BRILLIANT! Now it really is like a sleepover!" Martin moved as close to the edge of the bed as possible and felt the mattress dip as Arthur climbed in. "Good night, Skip." 

"Good night, Arthur."

When Douglas walked past Martin's bed, he couldn't help but notice that Arthur had joined him. His stomach flipped a bit at that. He should have known that the two young men were interested in each other. Martin had always treated Arthur differently than everyone else who crossed paths with him. It was obvious the Steward held him in high regard, too. He had thought that Arthur was addicted to his Pony Club girls, but maybe a lack of sexual boundaries was a side effect of his sunny personality.

He tried to push his disappointment away, but it kept bubbling up. He didn't like the idea of Martin and Arthur together, but he didn't want to accept why it bothered him as much as it did. They deserved to be happy, Martin especially, and he wasn't going to get in the way. No matter how much he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You really didn't think I was going to make it easy for the two of them, did you? *grin*


	3. Breakfast with Douglas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secrets are revealed, croissants are mangled beyond recognition, and trousers get a little too tight for comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much, all, for the kudos and comments! They don't go unnoticed and they are greatly appreciated!

When Martin woke up, the first thing he was aware of was Arthur sprawled all over him. The second thing he was aware of was that he actually liked it. He wasn't used to people touching him while he slept - it wasn't like any of his previous relationships had ever progressed that far - but he was enjoying being tangled up in Arthur's limbs. He flashed back to all those nights he had watched Douglas sleep, curled around a pillow and he understood why Douglas did it so often. Not that Martin ever paid attention, or wished desperately that it was him in Douglas' arms. 

He tried to slip out of Arthur's grasp without waking him, but it was impossible. "Good morning, Skip!" Arthur's smile was sunny and lit up the room. He didn't seem embarrassed or uncomfortable about being in the same bed as Martin. Arthur's voice was so loud, it woke Douglas up. Douglas sighed as he remembered where Arthur had spent the night.

"Good morning, Arthur. Do you mind? I need to use the loo."

"Oh! Sorry!" Arthur rolled off of him. A small smile lifted the corners of Martin's mouth. Arthur's hair was sticking up everywhere and he looked very much like the man-child he was. "Thanks for letting me share your bed. There's nothing better than waking up with someone next to you, is there, Skip?"

Martin turned beet red. "I-I-I guess so. This is the first time I've ever done it." The thought that Arthur Shappey had shared a bed with other people more often than he had was fairly upsetting. Why was his life so... lonely?

"You need to do it more often. It's brilliant!" While Douglas was not shocked to hear that Martin had never shared a bed with anyone before, he was upset that Arthur got to be the first one. He forced himself to repeat his earlier thought that Arthur and Martin deserved to be happy until he thought he might believe it. 

#

When Martin emerged from the bathroom, a towel around his waist and his skin a soft pink from the warm water, he was shocked to see Douglas was still in the room. He had thought the men had left together. "Hi, Hi, Hi, Douglas. Where'd Arthur go?"

Douglas tried to ignore the effect that his mostly naked Captain was having on him, but it was impossible. He shifted to hide his growing interest, but he was too late, and Martin saw the tell-tale sign of tented fabric. A strange look came over his face and he began to blush. He did that, THAT, to Douglas? It wasn't possible. He wanted to look again, but didn't want Douglas to catch him. 

"When did you get that tattoo?"

Martin raised his hand and covered it. "My tattoo?"

"Yes. Come here. I want to see it." As if in a trance, Martin walked over to the bed and stood in front of Douglas. In this position, the tattoo was at eye-level. Over his heart was a coloured image of a young boy, with auburn curls, playing with a toy aeroplane. Douglas reached out and traced the words circling the image of the boy. _"The engine is the heart of an aeroplane, but the pilot is its soul. - Walter Raleigh."_ Douglas continued to trace the tattoo, unable to tear his eyes, or his hand, away. "It suits you," he whispered, his voice rough. 

Martin couldn't find his voice and he wondered if Douglas knew what he was doing to him. He glanced down and realised that he was beginning to show how much he liked Douglas' obsession with his tattoo. He turned away abruptly, very aware of the look that had taken over his First Officer's face. Was it possible that the one thing he wanted was within reach? He cleared his throat, trying to get himself under control. "Where did Arthur go?"

"He and Carolyn left for breakfast. I was going to join them, but then I decided that I'd rather go out to breakfast with you. I really enjoyed your company at dinner last night."

"Douglas, you don't need to..." He tried very hard to keep calm, but all he could think about was the feel of Douglas' fingers touching his chest.

"I want to. Then, I want to take you to the Louvre, possibly Notre Dame, and maybe, just maybe, the zoo to see some _bears polar_. It's been a while since I've seen the sights and I know you never have."

"Douglas, I can't..." 

Douglas knew that tone of voice well. Martin was about to argue with him. Again. This was getting old. "Put some clothes on. Sir. You're spending the day with me, exploring Paris, and that's the end of this discussion."

#

Martin picked at a croissant as they sat in some trendy little café Douglas had chosen. The coffee was good and strong, the food delicious, and he was actually looking forward to seeing some of the sights. If he were going to be honest, he was more excited about being alone with Douglas all day as he showed Martin his favourite city. They had argued violently on the walk to the café about Douglas paying for breakfast, before Douglas finally gave in and let Martin treat. Just this once. 

Douglas sipped his tea and tried not to look at his Captain. The feel of Martin's soft skin, warm from the shower, under his fingertips was seared into his memory. Thinking about the obscene way Martin's towel had lifted, or the way his own trousers had gotten tighter, definitely wasn't helping. He set the cup down with a slightly trembling hand. "Thank you for breakfast, Martin."

"You're welcome. I should be thanking you for letting me pay." Martin smiled. "It's nice to take care of you for a change."

Douglas thought of a thousand witty, mostly dirty, retorts in the space of mere seconds. He wasn't sure how Martin would respond, so he decided to go with something different. "I'm glad Icarus is doing well."

"I am, too, but I really wish Carolyn would start paying me. I know she's decided it's cheaper to stay overnight between trips when the schedule works than it would be to fly back and forth to Fitton, but that means I have less time in the van. I've raised my rates a little, though, so that helps."

Douglas was proud of Martin for building his business to the point where he could do more than barely scrape by. "Really? You haven't said much about it."

"You know I don't like to talk about it. Can we talk about something else instead?"

"What would you like to talk about?"

"I don't know. Anything."

"Is your tattoo fair game?" Douglas took pleasure in the blush that rapidly coloured his Captain's cheeks. 

Martin squirmed, obviously uncomfortable. He should have never let Douglas see it. WHY did he let Douglas see it? "What do you want to know about it? I got it when I finally passed my CPL. The tattoo artist used a picture of me from when I was five or six. I found the quote in a book. I chickened out three different times. It cost a fortune... well, a fortune for me, I suppose. Anything else?"

"In all the times we've roomed together I've never seen it before now. Why were you hiding it?"

"It's something just for me, and maybe, one day, if I get lucky, my partner." He tore what was left of his croissant into tiny pieces. "I don't know. It sounds stupid, doesn't it? To keep a tattoo private?"

"You let me see it." The look he gave Martin told the younger man exactly how much he had enjoyed his private showing.

Martin turned an even brighter shade of red. "I didn't mean to. You were supposed to be gone."

Douglas reached out and stilled his hands. "Well, I wasn't." 

Martin's skin burned under Douglas' hands, but he left them there. "No, you weren't." When he couldn't stand it any longer, he yanked his hands away. He busied himself with eating what was left of his croissant and drinking his coffee. Anything to try and ignore how it made him feel when Douglas touched his chest.


	4. At the Zoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE GETTING! TO SEE! AND BE! WITH THE POLAR BEARS!
> 
> Uncomfortable memories come to the surface, Arthur is Arthur, and certain truths are revealed.

"Douglas! Skip! The polar bears are this way!" Arthur ran ahead of the two men, pointing wildly at the sign as he passed it.

"I do believe young Arthur meant to say _les bears polar_ , right, Sir?" Douglas winked at Martin, delighting in the way the man blushed. "Do you have your egg whisk and pogo stick handy?" Without thinking about it, he placed his hand on the small of his Captain's back and gently pushed him in the direction Arthur had gone.

Martin pushed back against the pressure briefly then stepped away from Douglas so that he could face him. "No, I do not 'ave my egg whisk or a pogo stick. I do not think I will need to fight off a bear polar whilst at le zoo because zey are in cages." His French accent was still terrible, and he laughed at himself. 

He was actually having fun for the first time in a long time. Douglas had called Carolyn to ask if Arthur could come out and play in an effort to diffuse the sexual tension that had developed between the two men over breakfast. She was so thrilled to be free of Arthur for the day that she gave the men plenty of money for admission and food if they promised to keep him occupied until after dinner. Knowing it was Carolyn instead of Douglas paying made Martin feel much more at ease, and it showed. 

"You're having fun." It wasn't a question. 

"I am." Martin smiled at the older man. "Arthur's probably having a bit too much fun. I told you the cotton candy was a bad idea."

"I think it was a brilliant idea."

"You're not the one trying to keep up with him!" Douglas had to admit, he had a point. However, he was more than happy to stay behind and watch Martin's fine arse as he ran around with Arthur. Despite everything that had transpired between he and Martin this morning, he still held on to the belief that there might be something between the two young men. It didn't hurt that the two were feeding off of each other. Martin had even picked up Arthur's habit of labelling everything as 'brilliant', but Douglas found it endearing coming from his Captain's mouth.

"SKIP! SKIP! SKIP! POLAR BEARS!" Arthur was bouncing up and down outside of the enclosure. "WE'RE GETTING! TO SEE! AND BE! WITH THE POLAR BEARS!" Like the excited child he was at heart, he grabbed Martin by the hand and pulled him to the front of the viewing gallery.

While Douglas was all too familiar with Arthur's endless enthusiasm, Martin's was definitely a new sight. To see the young man's cheeks tinted with something other than embarrassment, made Douglas inexplicably happy. He only wished that he were the one to bring out that side of Martin. He was looking for them in the crowd when he heard Arthur shout, "Do it again, Skip! Do it again!"

Douglas found himself inching closer to the front to see what was going on. Martin was telling Arthur about his legendary face-off with the Alaskan polar bear. "And zen I put ze egg whisk into ze snowdrift, whisked it up like a blizzard in ze bear's face, zen under the cover of his confusion, I bounced away on ze pogo stick. Sank you, goodbye!"

Douglas instantly felt sick to his stomach. He had been an utter bastard during that trip. He'd admit to taking the piss with Martin more frequently than he should, but he definitely crossed a line, or several, during their trip to Qikiqtarjuaq. If Douglas was to be completely honest, he thought Martin had let him off easy. Not once had he ever contemplated apologising to Martin. At the time, it had seemed much more important to put the young man in his place.

He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall as the memories came flooding back. Martin had ended up apologising to him. That was his Captain, though. Even when he was 100% correct, he still acted like he was 100% in the wrong. Douglas wondered if he'd been kicked when he was down so many times that he had just learned to lay down and take it. He never wanted to make Martin feel that way again.

Arthur saw him and dragged Martin back. "Douglas! Do you remember when you were really mean to Skip and ruined our trip to see the polar bears in Kick-Kick-Tarry-Jack?"

The nausea came back, but he was able to keep his expression neutral. Martin kept his expression neutral as well, but Douglas saw something flicker in his eyes. Douglas pulled a few euros out of his pocket. "Arthur, why don't you get us some train tickets?" Arthur grabbed the money and sprinted toward the train that would take them on a trip around the zoo.

Once Arthur was gone, Douglas grabbed Martin's hand. "I'm really sorry about Qikiqtarjuaq. I treated you terribly and I was a complete and utter arse."

Martin shivered as Douglas' thumb ran along his palm. Was he even aware that he was doing that? "It's fine Douglas. I'm just a walking punchline to you. I know that." 

"Do you really think I care that little about you? After all we've been through?" Douglas picked up Martin's other hand. "Martin, you're not a walking punchline to me. You've never been." 

"It doesn't feel like that sometimes. Especially today. Arthur's insistence on reliving my face off with the polar bear, your jokes about it... Douglas, I don't think you really understand how badly you hurt me. How small you can make me feel sometimes. When you offer to take me out for a meal, or offer me twenty quid, do you know how that makes me feel? It makes me feel like shit, Douglas. I've never met someone who could make me so happy and feel so worthless all at the same time." Tears welled up in his eyes and he had to look away.

And there it was. Everything he'd been holding in for the past four years. Everything he'd been afraid to tell Douglas. Douglas pulled Martin in for a hug. As his arms tightened around the young man's waist, Martin slumped forward and rested his forehead against Douglas' chest. One of Douglas' hands cradled the back of Martin's head, as he pressed a kiss to his Captain's forehead. "I'm so sorry, Martin. I had no idea."

Martin took Douglas' hand off his head and placed it over his heart. "You're the only person who has seen my tattoo, Douglas. The only person. That means something to me. I hope it means something to you," he whispered. He closed his eyes and pressed his body tighter against Douglas'. It was as close as he wanted to get to revealing his true feelings for his co-pilot.

Douglas buried his nose in Martin's curls. He knew what his Captain was saying, even if he couldn't get the words out. "It means everything to me, you berk." He looked down to see that Martin was crying. He wiped away the tears that had begun to streak the younger man's cheeks. Arthur was yelling for them, so he let go of Martin. "Go to the loo and splash some cold water on your face. We'll talk about this later, when we're alone, OK?"

"OK." Martin took a few steps and then turned back. "Thank you for..." He looked at the ground, unable to look Douglas in the eye. 

"No worries. Sir." 

Douglas sat on a bench outside of the polar bear enclosure and waited for Martin to return. Arthur had gotten sidetracked by the polar bears and went back to look to them, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He shouldn't have kissed Martin, even if it was just on the forehead. It wasn't nice to lead his Captain on. Was he even leading him on? He couldn't tell. He felt something for the young man, that much he knew, but he definitely hadn't been expecting to become aroused at the sight of Martin in just a towel. It was time to seriously consider the possibility that he was attracted to his Captain. _(Hey, Chief, I might be wrong, but I think I'm attracted to you. This makes me feel like I want to snog you senseless. One thing we could do is kiss. How does that sound to you?)_

His track record was terrible, and this was Martin he was thinking about. Over the past year, he'd noticed that Martin would look at him more frequently, find more reasons to brush up against him, and that he had been doing the same. Was he reading the signs right? He wasn't sure. No matter what he thought they both wanted, what they both felt towards each other, it wasn't going to happen. Martin was too much of a stickler to have an inter-office romance. Especially one with his co-pilot. Plus, there was the Arthur factor to contend with. If Martin were the type for an inter-office romance, why would he be interested in someone as old as he was when he could have the younger Steward?

Martin splashed cold water on his face and looked into the mirror. Douglas had been acting weird all day, and he really liked it. The thought that Douglas might be attracted to him made him smile, despite the fact that walking down this path was terrifying.

He pulled his shirts up and looked at the tattoo that had caused so much trouble. He had been serious when he said it was something private, something he'd only wanted to share with his partner, yet he had walked over to Douglas and let him get a good look at it. Had even let him touch it. He really hoped that Douglas meant it when he said that it meant 'everything' to him. Martin wasn't sure he could survive the rejection if Douglas was lying.

He dropped the shirts and took a good look at his face. Arthur would probably realise that he'd been crying, but he wasn't going to be able to do much else. Cold water only went so far. He sighed and prepared himself for whatever was on the other side of the door. Douglas was waiting for him, a smile on his face. "Come on, Sir. Arthur is still staring at the polar bears." Martin smiled a bit when he realised that Douglas wasn't calling them _bears polar_ any more, but he remained silent. Douglas wondered what he was thinking.

"Skip! Douglas!" Arthur came running over to the two men. "I got us three tickets..." He stopped abruptly. "Are you two fighting? Skip, you look really sad."

Douglas wrapped a possessive arm around Martin's waist, making the young man jump at the unexpected contact. "It's OK, Arthur. Martin and I are fine."

"But Skip's been crying."

"I'm OK, Arthur. Really." Martin pulled away from Douglas and grabbed Arthur's hand. "Let's go get our seats!"

Douglas sighed as he watched the two men run away. He couldn't wait to return Arthur to Carolyn and have some time with Martin. No matter what happened between the two of them, he needed to clear the air. By the time he made it to the train, Arthur had already taken the window seat and Martin was in the middle. Douglas slid in next to Martin and focused on looking out the window across the aisle from his seat. 

Martin shifted so that he was pressing against Douglas and rested his left hand on his thigh, his fingers touching Douglas' leg. Arthur was babbling about how brilliant the train was, but all Douglas could think about was Martin. Martin wiggled his fingers a little bit and Douglas intertwined them with his the best he could. As he did, he heard his Captain hum softly. He wasn't quite sure what to think about it, but it was a promising sign.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dude, spelling "Qikiqtarjuaq" is harder than spelling "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"!


	5. It's Worth a Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Douglas and Martin finally have "The Talk". Kinda.

Douglas finished brushing his teeth and looked at himself in the mirror. He felt every one of his 50-something years. His hair was more salt than pepper and in need of another trim. There were a few extra pounds around his middle, too. Nothing about him screamed desirable, but obviously his Captain saw something that he liked. He took a deep breath and headed into the room. 

Martin was sitting on the edge of his bed. "I told you that you're the only person who has seen my tattoo and that it means something to me. When I said that I hoped it meant something to you, you said..."

"I said, 'It means everything to me, you berk.'" Douglas sat down next to Martin. "Martin, about earlier... I know I take the piss with you a lot - too much - but I never meant for you to feel like a walking punchline. I can't take back what I've already done, I know that. But for you to show me something so private, so intimate..." He looked deep into Martin's bluish-greyish eyes and his breath caught in his chest. The innocence shining in those eyes floored him. "I don't deserve your forgiveness nor your friendship." 

"Douglas, stop." Martin took a deep breath. He wasn't ready to talk to Douglas about his crush on him, but it didn't seem like he had a choice. "When we were in Hartford, you came out to watch the planes with me and I fell asleep. When I woke up, you had your arm wrapped around me, and I had my head on your chest. Why did you let me do that?"

"You needed your sleep. I wasn't going to wake you up. You're the one who rolled over and snuggled up to me. I can't control what you do in your sleep."

"Did you like it? When I was sleeping like that?" Martin was blushing, causing Douglas to wonder if there was anything that _didn't_ make Martin blush.

"I did." He licked his lips nervously. "I wouldn't mind doing it again."

"I watch you sleep all the time," Martin whispered, " and I wonder what it would be like if it were me in your arms instead of a pillow." His words were hesitant and there was fear of rejection clearly written all over his face.

"The beds do fit two, as you and Arthur pointed out last night." Douglas struggled to get the words out. "We can share a bed if you want to find out."

"You kissed me on the top of the head when we were hugging. Why?"

"You're very kissable." Douglas shifted uncomfortably. He watched as Martin bit his lower lip. "Hey, stop that." He reached out and rubbed his thumb across Martin's lip. "Don't bite your lip." 

Martin tilted his head a little and moved closer to Douglas. He wanted to kiss him in the worse way, but he didn't know how to start. Before he was aware he was doing it, the tip of his tongue darted out and licked Douglas' thumb. Douglas groaned softly then stood up, adjusting himself carefully. "Come on, you. Let's go to bed. We need to fly to Rome tomorrow, and we both need our rest." He looked between the two beds. "Yours or mine?"

"Yours. It's in front of the heater." Martin walked over to Douglas' bed. He pulled back the covers and crawled onto the bed while Douglas watched. 

Of course, his Captain knew what side of the bed he liked to sleep on. He got into bed and scooped Martin up into his arms. "I like to be the big spoon," he whispered. In response, Martin pushed himself back until he was in contact with as much as Douglas' body as possible. He kissed Martin's neck, enjoying the soft sound that came out of his Captain. 

Martin rolled over and looked at Douglas in the moonlight. "Douglas, this thing between us... it's no good. It will destroy our friendship. I can't shag you tonight and work with you tomorrow. If that's all you're looking for, then you need to find someone else."

"I don't want anyone else. Sir." Douglas pressed a kiss to the top of Martin's head. "And I don't want a shag tonight." 

"I can't shag you - ever - and work with you the next day." Martin sighed and rolled over so he didn't have to face Douglas. "I should probably sleep in my own bed."

"I won't touch you if you want to stay. Scout's honour."

Martin rolled back over. "Could I sleep the same way I did in Hartford?"

Douglas lay on his back and extended his arm. Martin made himself comfortable and fell asleep quickly. Douglas was not so lucky and he lay there for a long time, staring at the ceiling, wishing he had met Martin outside of work. He had known that the younger man wouldn't be interested in a one-night stand, but that was never his intent. He nuzzled the top of Martin's head, falling asleep with the fresh, clean, scent of his hair in his nose.

#

Douglas woke up in the middle of the night, aware that Martin was spooning him with a death grip around his waist. He gently released himself from Martin's grip and rolled over to face the young man. Martin's curls were pressed against his forehead and Douglas gently brushed them back. The young man moaned in his sleep and pulled Douglas back in so that there wasn't an inch of space between them. He decided that he could get used to sleeping with his Captain, but he knew that this would be his only chance. Martin wasn't going to let this get any farther, and nothing he could do was going to change the young man's mind.

He could feel Martin pressing against his hip, which made him smile. Then, Martin began to slowly rut against him, small whines coming from his throat. Douglas' only reaction was to gently push him away. Martin made a needy sound and reached out for Douglas, who had no choice but to wake him up. It took a moment for him to realise where he was and another moment to figure out that he was sporting a rather impressive erection. "Oh, God. Did I... I did... I'm so sorry!"

Douglas smiled as he watched the blush rise up Martin's cheeks. "It's OK. I know you were dreaming."

Martin's only response was to roll onto his back and stare at the ceiling. "I wish it wasn't a dream," he whispered.

It took all of Douglas' considerable self control to not kiss his Captain. "It doesn't have to be," he whispered back.

"Douglas," Martin's voice was strangled, and Douglas could very clearly hear the confusion and the desire in that one word. No matter what, he had to let Martin decide what they were doing. "I can't."

"Then, we won't. Maybe you should dream of something less... exciting?"

"I can try." Martin sighed, a sound of defeat that Douglas had heard a thousand times. In this context, it was heart wrenching.

"If you ever change your mind, I'm here. Sir. I don't plan on going anywhere."

Martin rolled onto him and pressed his lips against Douglas'. Unsure of what he was expected to do, he wrapped his arms around Martin and kissed him back. Martin was all teeth and tongue, inexperienced, and desperate for the physical contact. Normally, Douglas would be turned off by a kiss like that, but this was Martin who was kissing him and he didn't expect that the young man would know what he was doing. Gently, subtly, he took control of the kiss, groaning into Martin's mouth when the young man rocked his hips against his. For someone who didn't want this to happen, he certainly was enthusiastic. 

Douglas broke the kiss and pushed Martin away. "As much as I am enjoying this, Sir, I'm not sure this is something we should be doing."

"You're enjoying this?" Martin sounded so surprised that Douglas had to bite back a laugh. He pushed against Martin, letting him know that, yes, he was enjoying it. Martin's surprised squeak was music to his ears.

"Well, there's too much teeth, and it's a little too wet, for my tastes, but I think you show promise." He ran his fingers through Martin's curls, suddenly serious. "You had expressed concern that you wouldn't be able to shag me and work with me. How does kissing me fit into that?"

"I don't know what I was thinking." Martin rolled off of him and lay staring at the wall, thinking about how stupid he was. "I just... I never... and you... my tattoo... private... kiss." He mumbled into the pillow.

"Martin," Douglas sighed, "While I generally find your inability to string together a simple sentence somewhat charming, tonight it's just frustrating." He pulled Martin back into his embrace. He was the big spoon again, his erection pressing obscenely against Martin's fine arse. He fought the urge to grind against his Captain's back and realised that the effort could possibly kill him. "I can't read your mind. Sir."

Martin inhaled, a long stuttering breath, as he placed his hand over Douglas'. "I've had a crush on you for a long time. Since we first met, if I'm going to be honest. I've tried so hard to push it aside and forget about it, but it's been impossible." He intertwined his fingers with Douglas'. "When I woke up next to you like that, I didn't know what to think. I still don't know what to think. Then, you took me on a date, Douglas. A date!"

Douglas hummed. Dinner at the bistro, the wine, ordering dinner, splitting dessert... It was a date, although he hadn't meant to take Martin out on one. Or maybe he had meant to. He wasn't sure any more. "I suppose dinner at the bistro could be considered a date," he conceded.

"And then you saw my tattoo."

"Are we going to skip over the fact that you slept with Arthur?"

"I'm not attracted to Arthur, you idiot! I'm attracted to you. It's always been you, Douglas." He had started out angry, but by the time he said Douglas' name, it was more like a whisper. "You saw my tattoo."

"You let me see it. You came over to me. I think you wanted me to see it."

"I think I did, too."

"As I believe I said before, it means everything to me that you would show me something so intimate and private. Martin, something has changed between us: we're not co-workers any more. You're one of my best friends, and I'm pretty sure I'm one of yours."

"And I just ruined that friendship by doing something I promised myself I'd never do."

"I wouldn't say you ruined it." He nuzzled the back of Martin's neck, unable to help himself. "You're in charge here. Sir. I will do anything you want. All you have to do is ask."

"Can we forget this trip ever happened?"

"If that's what you want." It wasn't what Douglas wanted, but he had promised. 

It was quiet for a long time before Martin moved Douglas' hand down to his groin and pushed it against his erection. He rubbed himself against Douglas' hand, a small moan escaping his lips. 

Douglas pulled his hand away, hating himself for what he was about to do, but needing to. Martin whinged at the loss of contact. "I think we should stop."

"You're right." Martin wiggled out of Douglas' arms. "I think I should probably sleep in my own bed."

"As Sir desires."

"Stop calling me 'Sir'."

"Is that an order? Sir?"

"Yes?" 

"Martin," Douglas sighed. "What do you want? You tell me you can't do this and then you kiss me. As if that wasn't enough, you draw my attention to an area of your anatomy that I was already quite aware of, and proceeded to rub yourself against my hand." 

"I don't know what I want. I mean, I want this. But I don't want it. It's too much. And Carolyn. Douglas, she'll kill us!"

He sat up and turned the light on. Martin's curls were everywhere, his cheeks were flush, and those eyes. Those soft and trusting eyes. Douglas didn't think he had ever seen anything as beautiful as his Captain at that moment. "Martin, I'm willing to do what you want. You want to stop, we'll stop. You want to forget any of this trip ever happened, it's forgotten. You want to sleep in my arms, you can sleep in my arms. You want more, you'll get more. Tell me what you want, Martin. Please. Just tell me what you want and it's yours." He knew he was in too deep as soon as he started begging. Douglas Richardson never begged, NEVER, but he wasn't willing to let the young man slip through his fingers that easily.

Martin sat up as well. The seconds seemed to stretch into hours as he thought about what to tell Douglas. "I want you to kiss me. I want you to touch me. I want to sleep in your arms. I want to wake up in the morning and pretend it never happened."

"We both know we're not going to be able to forget this happened. We should stop before we do something we're going to regret." His voice was soft. "I think you need to get out of my bed. Now."

Tears filled Martin's eyes, and one made a slow trip down his cheek. "You have control, Douglas." How many times had he said that? How many different ways had he said that? It never felt like this before. He set his feet on the floor and stood up slowly. Soundlessly, he walked around the room and settled into his own bed. It felt cold, big, and empty compared to Douglas' bed. Douglas pretended he didn't hear Martin begin to softly cry.

Douglas turned the light off. He reached out for the pillow Martin's head had been resting on. It smelled like his Captain and he hugged it close to him. If a tear or two just happened to roll down his face, it had absolutely nothing to do with the emptiness of his own bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am *so* sorry! 
> 
> It was supposed to be fluffy, then it wanted to be smutty, and then, the angst pushed its way in.
> 
> Apparently, nothing ever goes right for Martin. Including fulfilling his wildest dreams...


	6. 'Torchwood' and Takeaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Douglas and Martin have a not-a-date and Martin spends the night at Douglas'...

"Post landing checks complete, Captain."

"Thank you, Douglas." Martin stood and grabbed his flight bag. "I could go for some sushi. Care to join me?"

Douglas smirked; he knew full well that Martin hated sushi. "Martin, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were asking me on a date."

"No. Not a date. This is me thanking you for being so understanding and doing the things I couldn't... " Martin spoke to the floor, a deep blush tinting his cheeks.

Douglas smiled at the young man. He knew exactly what Martin was referring to, and he was glad that things were finally falling back into place. It had been a rough two weeks while they both tried to put Paris behind them. It had been quite hard for Douglas to stop obsessing over where things had gone wrong between them. He should have impressed on Martin how strongly he felt for the young man, even though he was pretty sure it wouldn't have made much of a difference either way. Based on the awkwardness in the flight deck, _he_ was the one having a hard time with how things ended between them. Of course, the big difference between the two men was that Martin had been denying his feelings for a long time and Douglas had just begin to accept his. "Your treat?"

"Of course." 

"Well, in that case, I know of this excellent place to get sushi. It's called Joe's Burger and Sushi Extravaganza. I can make reservations if you like, but they're generally not very crowded."

"Really? I was thinking we could just get takeaway and watch the 'Torchwood' marathon on your big telly." Martin reached out and touched Douglas' arm. "Burn Gorman? Remember?"

Douglas did indeed remember who Burn Gorman was and assumed that might be why this 'Torchwood' marathon was important to Martin. He placed his hand on the small of Martin's back and pushed him forward. "Takeaway and 'Torchwood' it is, then. Lead on. Sir." 

Martin stopped short and turned to Douglas."You didn't even make a joke about me about using you for your telly."

"I didn't think there was anything funny about two friends getting together for a night of takeaway and telly. Although most of my friends do have better taste in programmes." He pulled out the key to his flat and placed it in Martin's hand. "I'll pick up the takeaway. Meet you at my flat?"

"Um. OK." The smile returned to his face. "I'll just pop over to mine and change out of my uniform." He reached into his flight bag and handed some money to Douglas. "By the way, here's twenty quid. Anything more than that, you'll have to cover."

"It's a good thing I'm a cheap not-a-date, then." Douglas laughed. "Now go! I'm hungry!"

#

Douglas found himself rather enjoying 'Torchwood', not that he would ever admit it to Martin. He also found himself enjoying the fact that Martin was sitting closer to him than he should. His sushi had been excellent and, from what he could tell, so was Martin's burger. Martin had blushed when he realised that Douglas had gone out of his way to pick up his favourite burger. He'd been expecting something from the Japanese place, but that wasn't quite the way Douglas Richardson operated, now was it? Even if they were on a not-a-date, there was no reason for Martin to be denied his favourite food. Especially if he was paying for dinner. 

All in all, it had been a successful night. Douglas told him every way he'd ever been able to nick Mr. Birling's Talisker, and then they drank apple juice, pretending that it was the stolen whiskey. Martin talked about living with the students and how much fun it could be some times. They talked about what eating Fizzy Yoghurt, or Surprising Rice, could do to a person and decided that it was much safer to eat stale biscuits and pretend they weren't hungry. Everything was so comfortable between the two of them that Douglas could almost forget that Paris happened. Almost. 

Martin had fallen asleep sitting up and Douglas pulled him down so that he was laying on the couch with his head in Douglas' lap. His Captain snored softly as Douglas ran his fingers through those wonderful curls. They'd had a long day, made longer by Martin's early morning van job, and it was obvious the young man was exhausted. Douglas didn't want to wake him so he changed the channel and found something that would keep him interested for a while.

He had nodded off during an episode of "Celebrity Antiques Road Trip", but was woken up when Martin stirred slightly. Martin rolled over so he could look at Douglas' face. "M'sorry. Didn' mean t' fall 'sleep. So tired."

"It's OK." Douglas got up and gently laid Martin's head on the sofa. He covered his Captain with a blanket and kissed his forehead. "You can spend the night here. I don't mind."

"Than' you, D'las."

"Ssshhh, Sir. Go to sleep." Martin's eyes were closed and he'd begun to snuffle softly. Douglas couldn't help himself and watched the young man sleep for a while. He understood Martin's reluctance to be in a relationship with his First Officer, Douglas, thrice married, thrice divorced, Richardson, but it didn't make it easier. As he watched Martin sleep, he realised that the young man had another moving job the next day. He couldn't let him sleep on the couch, so he decided to let Martin sleep in his bed. 

Martin was surprisingly heavy for such a thin man, but Douglas was able to carry him into his bedroom. Martin hadn't stirred once during the short trip down the hallway, and his only reaction to being moved and tucked in was to pull one of Douglas' pillows to him, smile, and inhale the older man's scent as he cuddled with it. OH! So that's what he looked like every time Martin had watched him sleep. He understood why Martin had wished so badly that it would be him in Douglas' arms. The temptation to crawl into bed with the young man was strong, but he knew it wouldn't end well, and he was done with the awkwardness his attraction to the young man was causing. Maybe one day, he'd be able to curl up with his Captain in bed again, but it wasn't going to be tonight.

He quietly closed the door to his room. As the lock clicked home, he heard Martin say his name. He opened the door and stuck his head in. "Martin? Are you OK?"

"Douglas, come here. It's your bed." He hadn't realised that he had woken Martin up.

"Are you sure?" Martin rolled his eyes. Douglas wasn't going to argue with his Captain and lay on top of the covers, hoping that the thin cotton barrier might assist them in keeping their hands to themselves. He extended his arm and sighed contentedly when Martin placed his head on his chest. Martin curled up to Douglas and let out a soft purr when he felt Douglas kiss the top of his head.

#

Martin woke up unable to get a bearing on his surroundings. He wasn't in his flat, and the last thing he knew he was sleeping on Douglas' couch. The pillow his head was on moved slightly and that's when he realised that he was sleeping on Douglas. Just like they did in Hartford. Just like they had unsuccessfully tried in Paris. He looked around a little bit. Douglas had tucked Martin in, but he had settled on top of the covers. Douglas was snoring and Martin didn't want to wake him up. 

Martin got up and padded around to Douglas' side of the bed. Douglas murmured his name and grabbed Martin's pillow. The smile on Douglas' face was a thing of beauty and Martin was pleased to know that he had caused it. He wanted to wait for Douglas to wake up, but he really had to leave if he wanted to get to his client's on time. Martin leaned down, brushed Douglas' shaggy fringe out of his eyes, and kissed his forehead. "Thank you, Douglas." The older man murmured something into Martin's pillow and burrowed his face into it.

Martin sat in his van and waited while it warmed up. He couldn't have wiped the sunny smile off of his face if his life had depended on it. He and Douglas had managed to sleep together without disastrous results. Maybe it was something they could try again at some point. Maybe even the next time Carolyn had them share a room?

Douglas woke up to the sound of Martin's van leaving. A smile to rival the one on his Captain's face lit up the room. Absolutely everything about their night had gone perfectly. While he would have preferred to wake up with Martin in his arms, they had least had been able to share a bed without it going all pear shaped. He wondered if Martin would be amenable to trying it again the next time they had to share a room. He hoped so. There was really nothing better than feeling Martin's body pressed against his, those curls tickling his face, and hearing those soft little snuffling sounds he made as he slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't originally how this episode was supposed to end, but I think we ALL suffered terribly at the end of the last chapter. Being the nice person I am, I chose to leave you with a glimmer of hope that our two idiots stop being idiots. 
> 
> Coming soon: ZURICH!, the final episode of this series.   
> (I'm expecting to do the final edit this weekend, so the first chapter should be up no later than Tuesday...)


End file.
